You may recall Martin Wheeler from a previous propaganda effort. His Carolinas Association for Passenger Trains cohort Bob Bischoff wrote to the Uptown paper of record last week to defend CATS’ current train building plans.

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Look Out!

Today Wheeler writes in to dig up the old claim that unless Charlotte builds trains, the air will be so bad that Charlotte will lose its federal road money. Yeah, and garden gnomes will let the air out your tires and pee in your birdbath.

Not even CATS makes the claim that trains will do anything one way or another to local air quality. The ridership will simply be too small. The single biggest factor in Charlotte’s improving air quality in recent years — without trains and as vehicle travel increased — is a cleaner car fleet.

In fact, if we really want stamp out dirty air from daily transportation, local officials should go to Raleigh to win authority for police officers to ticket blue-smoke belching rolling smokestacks. Give owners 30 days to fix the problem. Second, offense, impound the vehicle and turn it into scrap. Air quality problem solved.

Let’s start with the taxi cab fleet at the airport. Probably the oldest, dirtiest concentration of polluters puffing around town.

No billion-dollar choo-choos needed. But watch out for those gnomes.