Rush Limbaugh read Byron York’s write-up of the ‘sex complaint’ against Al Gore. Trust me, it’s hilarious:

Rush’s account, with commentary:

“Gore said he was tired from travel and described in detail the massage he wanted.” Are you ready for this, folks? “It included work on the abductor muscles…” Do you know where the adductor muscles are? Dawn, do you happen to know where the adductor muscles are? (interruption) Well, you work out. Do you know where they are? (interruption) Brian, do you have any idea? (interruption) No, they’re not the abs. Close. They are “on the inside of the thighs.” Think groin.

….He turned on this song, his foreplay tune on his iPod docking station… “‘Dear Mr. President,’ a lachrymose attack on George W. Bush by the singer Pink. [Alecia Beth Moore]. ‘As soon as he had it playing, he turned to me and immediately flipped me flat on my back and threw his whole body face down over atop of me,’ she said. ‘I was just shocked at his craziness.'”

“Finally she got away,” and this is the funny party. She got away from it and “Later, she talked to friends, liberals like herself…” She asked her liberal friends what she should do. Her liberal friends… I kid you not; this is in the police report. The massage therapist’s liberal friends “advised against telling police. One asked her ‘to just suck it up; otherwise, the world’s going to be destroyed from global warming.'” If you go turn Gore in, all efforts to stop… I’m not kidding you! This is what she told the police. Her liberal friends said: Look, the guy made advances on you, it’s no big deal. Look, you gotta give him a pass on this, otherwise we’ll all be destroyed from global warming.

You can say what you want about George W. Bush —many have —- but many times I have thanked the good Lord he was elected, selected, whatever you want to call it, instead of Al Gore.