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Dear Ask Loonie:

Did the new Wake County school board majority trick all those white racist parents all over the county to vote for them in a trick to get them to sabotage public schools to make Wake parents send their kids to private schools instead?

— Just Can’t Keep All the Rock-Stupid Media Scare Stories Straight Any More

Dear Rock:

No, no, no — first, Evil Rich Capitalist White Doods like Art Pope and Bob Luddy who were thwarting Benevolent Philanthropists Giving Back to Their Community tricked potential school board candidates into supporting their proposals, then through their puppets tricked all those white racist parents all over the county to vote for them in a trick to get them to sabotage public schools to make Wake parents send their kids to private schools instead.

The main things to remember are that this is all a trick, nothing the school board does is legitimate, the people of Wake County don’t really support it no matter what the elections say, only evil vicious racists mention the election results, somehow only evil vicious racists voted, and everything concerning Wake County public schools before the election was so fine, it was so fine it blew our minds.


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