Wait, don’t tell me. And an aquarium too.

The Uptown crowd — motto, Bringing You Bad Ideas Since Cityfair — actually thinks an Uptown farmers market is a good idea. Of course, it would cover up a good chunk of what close-in surface parking remains in lots along 7th and Brevard, still the preferred method to get in and out of Uptown quickly. But surface parking is offensive to urbanistas, so it must go.

Nevermind that Charlotte is already overrun with fake farmers markets, ones with as many, if not more, resellers from out-of-state than actual local family farmers. No, just like the New Old Coliseum, the existing farmers market run by the state out on Yorkmont Rd. is not “centrally located,” Translated, that means it is not Uptown.

But, hey, that is just standard Uptown snobbery at work. We want that here. Standard. Incredibly, however, they don’t leave it there. Some lunatic is actually citing Seattle’s Pike Place Market as a model. You know, the market that opened in 1907 and is two-blocks from the frickin’ Pacific Ocean.

Part of me wants them to actually try to this. But most of me just wants to cry.

Update: The Uptown paper of record today editorializes in favor of this idea. Surprise. I am going to post it in its entirety so we might laugh at in the dark days and years to come, perhaps long after MNI has ceased to exist.

Uptown market? Idea is worth cultivating
The time is ripe for a permanent farmers market in center city.
Posted: Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009

Every few years, up bubbles the idea to create a farmers market uptown. But to date nothing permanent has been built. Let us hope this time is different.

A coalition of individuals and agencies, pushed by Mecklenburg County commissioner and market devotee Dan Murrey, is talking with property owner Daniel Levine about the possibility of building a market in First Ward, near a planned park.

There’s much to like about the idea. The local foods movement has markets booming all over the nation. The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports that in 2007, farmers sold $1.2 billion in food directly to customers – a 17 percent increase over the previous five years. In August 2008, the USDA tallied 4,685 farmers markets in the country, up 170 percent over 10 years. In Mecklenburg County, at least eight farmers markets operate, from Davidson to Matthews, in South End and West End and at The Square in the heart of uptown.

But most are just tents and trucks, with limited days and hours. The largest and most stable is the popular Charlotte Regional Farmers Market, run by the state. It’s open daily, year-round, but its site off Billy Graham Parkway is far from the center of Charlotte or any other downtown. It’s the farmers market equivalent of a regional shopping mall – buildings surrounded by asphalt parking lots, in a remote site chosen for good highway access.

Murrey – a doctor who grew up on a farm in Tennessee and jokes, “I learned not to plant too much zucchini” – is convinced Charlotte now has enough potential customers for a permanent, central site. “I think the market is there,” he says.

He, Charlotte City Council member Edwin Peacock, the nonprofit Charlotte Center City Partners, Mecklenburg County’s Park and Recreation Department and the manager of a South End tailgate market are working together on the project. They’re looking to First Ward property owner and developer Levine, who says he’s open to the idea, especially in conjunction with a park planned for First Ward. The city, county and CCCP have committed a total of $21,000 to pay for a markets consultant.

A few cautions are in order: Any such market is unlikely to bring in enough income to pay for rent and the cost of erecting or buying a building. Some subsidy, from somewhere, will be needed. And location is a key decision. A successful site needs access to transit, significant parking and sufficient foot traffic to provide enough customers to make it worth vendors’ time. Further, a local-foods-only philosophy, while trendy, can severely limit offerings during winter months.

But the positives are plentiful. Too many low-income neighborhoods in Charlotte lack supermarkets with good, local produce available. The state farmers market site isn’t accessible via public transit. An uptown market can bring healthful foods within reach of thousands more residents. It can be an incubator for entrepreneurs. And, just as important, it brings together people of all incomes and backgrounds, increasingly valuable in a large and diverse city. It’s definitely a project worth cultivating.