Here I explain how wooden arrows will save America:


Those of us deep in the American hinterlands may be excused for questioning the wooden arrow excise-tax exemption and all the manifold other bizarre insertions into the federal bailout bill. Of course it seems to us very strange that, for a bill supposed to ward off financial collapse so imminent as to be mere hours away, our congressmen are tripping over themselves to stuff it with all kinds of trivial earmarks, special favors and graft.

They don’t seem to be acting like people desperate to avert a crisis. They seem to be acting like contestants in a game show trying to grab all the dollars before time runs out.

But that’s the brilliance of it. If Americans think that Congress and the White House are just conducting the same old disgraceful Washington-business-as-usual, then our rivals and our enemies aren’t going to suspect anything. They’ll miss the strategic importance of the wooden arrows entirely till it is too late.

You may wonder how wooden arrows could be so critical to the security of this great nation. The process is surprisingly simple …