When my brother was a radio newsman in Kalamazoo, he said he wanted to be in the Doo Dah parade with a shovel, following the horses, with a sign that read, “John Kulba has the scoop.” That image should help any of you who do not yet grasp the essence of shovel-ready projects.

That said, Polk County will use porkulus to pay for video cameras in transportation vans. The cameras will boost the economy by serving as witnesses that cannot admissibly testify as to whether or not the drivers were speeding (logic not mine). A contract with an undergraduate intern might tell us up to 317, 2-hour a week jobs “could potentially” be created for up to two weeks to get the puppies installed (exasperated satire mine).