The Sylva Herald informs us parents of students at three WNC schools will receive snail-mail notifications that their children are attending “low-performing” schools. Not to worry. The schools are only “low-performing,” and not bad or anything like that. “Low-performing” equates to a report card grade of D or F. Educators and administrators at the schools assure they are “passionate, collaborative, open, loving.”

As always, grades may be subjective and subject to kisser-upping. However, analysts argue the “low performance” is a reflection of how many students are getting free lunches. Could it be the little Einsteins have no motivation to study because they have figured out food can fall freely (And that does not mean at 9.8 m/s2.) into their mouths from cradle to grave?