Here Comes Incentives Clause

Here comes incentives clause

Jacked way up because

That’s what “big boys” expect.

It’s just a plum deal

Plumb unnecessary

“Playing Santa” cronyism dreck.


Licensing Board Messiahs (Hallelujah!)

For unto us a worker comes

Unto us

A pro applieth

And the government shall be upon his baa-aack

And his work history showeth:

Wonderful! Certified!

High marks on Yelp!

A well-credentialed service! —

License denied.


Let It Snow (Make It Rain)

Oh, we all need electricity

So the state grants a monopoly

And rates are to be kept low, but …

You can’t go! You can’t go! You can’t go!


Now some make it a sick hobby

To prey on captive consumers by lobby

But media love this one industry, so

Let them take! Raise the rates! Watch them grow!


If the poor pay too much, we don’t care

We’re “second in solar,” so there

What’s dispatchable even mean?

No one knows! No one knows! No one knows!


Now, solar can only give power

When the sun’s overhead, a few hours,

But since you’ve no place to go

Let night come! Let it rain! Let it snow!


Yep, since you’ve no place to go

Let it fog! Let it cloud! Let it snow!


Bring a Notice, GenX is a problem

Bring a Notice, GenX is a problem,

NOV now, DEQ, come on!

“It’s OK, Chemours is compliant.”

“Hands are tied; EPA must act first.”

Ah, no, authority is already yours!

Ah, no, it’s your clear duty, too!


Electric Cars Are Coming to Town

You better just wait

Soon you won’t ask why

Relief funds weren’t sent —

I’m telling you why:

Electric cars are coming to town!


I made up a list

Media won’t think twice

(Say “combat climate change” and

They’ll think it’s nice)

Electric cars are coming to town.


I’ll blame their lack for hurricanes

They’ll believe it — piece o’ cake!

Who cares we’ve cut emissions more

Than the rest of the world, for goodness’ sake?


You better stand back

You better not laugh

We’ll buy 80,000 of the things

On the planet’s behalf!

Electric cars are coming to town!


Silent Sam

Silent Sam, noisy campus

No one’s calm

Sense took flight

‘Round yon statue

Riots each night?

Teach differing in peace

Try debating in peace.


Bladen’s Red-Handed Vote Fraud

You’ve heard whinging about recounts statewide in Georgia,

Florida’s Broward and Palm Beach and Hillsborough,

But oh, did you hear

The most famous vote fraud this year? …

Bladen’s mail-in ballots scheme

Has been warned about since 2010;

This year, though, it helped the GOP

So could we finally see reform, then?