hhWoooo! Where will CATS cut? is the scare-line on the Uptown paper of record’s press release on behalf of CATS’ serial fraud against local commuters and taxpayers.

Half-cent sales tax revenue comes in flat rather than continue the ever-upward growth trajectory which CATS foolishly and willfully assumed and the very operation of the transit system is in jeopardy. How cute. Don’t believe it for a second.

For one, CATS quite openly admits that it could avoid service cuts by scaling back its multi-billion dollar train-building plans. But that it right off the table.

You see, the entire purpose of CATS is to build a multi-billion dollar train system, change land-use rules along the line to mandate higher density, and then give away transit service. Service paid for by local taxpayers. Then you point to the “unexpectedly” high number of rides you give away so that local politicians, editors, and reporters without two IQ points to rub together declare what you are doing is a “success” — nevermind actual congestion and mobility does not improve and that those additional rides never, ever seem to throw off additional revenue to fund your system. And, when you do run into a revenue squeeze, always, always, always cut bus service first.

There can never be any question on this reality from this day forward. CATS is not a transit service, it is a land-use and lifestyle lever for local central planners and an urban security blanket for trendoids fretting over their hipness metric.

With that out of the way, let’s note one more time that CATS could charge for parking along the train line, stop giving away train rides for free with every bus ride (a move the DC Metro will implement in a couple weeks), or even hike fares across the board in order to capture revenues from actual transit users. Sales tax revenue is only off by a few million dollars, not 20 or 30. But no, you watch, CATS will come sniffing around for additional dedicated tax revenue soon.

In the meantime, check out how Charlotte plans to raid local property tax revenues to buy CATS $400m. worth of streetcars. This PowerPoint paints a ridiculous picture of how streetcars will magically — all together now — “pay for themselves” via tax increment financing. One howler, “Baseline scenario: Streetcar corridor captures 6% of all household growth in 9 county region.” Yeah, right.

Overall, the co-conspir–er, consultants hired by the city to cook up this scheme project between $209m. and $322m. in city revenue thrown off by new municipal service districts and TIFs. Remember, none of this is half-cent transit tax revenue, the revenue source we were told repeatedly could fund everything transit.

Not surprisingly, this number makes building $400m. worth of streetcars seem doable, especially if you add in additional revenue sources like Uptown parking surcharges and additional venue fees on ticket sales in Charlotte as other streetcar-building cities like Portland — the Official Planning Model of the city of Charlotte — have done. In fact, Portland has no fewer than eight sources of revenue funding its streetcars.

CATS — well and truly the gift that keep on giving.

Bonus Observation: Idiots. Were this bunch remotely serious, they’d urge junking the North train line and replace it with a bus-rapid transit-HOT lane option.