Elsewhere from the news and consent agenda, I remain a little conflicted that we still want the police officers to play paper dolls with little girls in public housing, while accepting all kinds of Homeland Security wizmo-gizmos through the back door. What self-respecting little boy learning to put dresses on his dolls is going to trust his friend in blue with a tank in tow? OK, Asheville, unlike other places, has neither tank nor helicopter from military surplus, but it does have a Homeland Security bus that keeps making me flashback to scenes from the Holocaust I’m trying to forget.

Back on subject, we see that the city will accept two grants from the federal deficit to, how do we say in PC, um, color-heighten the War on Drugs in Asheville (1, 2). Increased revenue from drug seizures can then be used to purchase cool stuff like urinalysis for bad drivers. Now, please do not construe this as an ad for recreational drug use, but I do wonder who is crazier, the guy who self-medicates or the goon who consents to play in his urine. I digress.

We were talking about drunk drivers, and wondering how they could be a problem when all the city cares about is beer, beer, beer. We find the answer in one of the celebrations begging the sale of beer in that last hyperlink. Brother Wolf wants to sell firewater at its New Year’s Resolution Run. That’s lovely, but if government wants us to drink and run, why is it putting all the pedways in floodplains? Don’t they know the rising tide of Climate Change will raise all boats? The peds will be the first to go, and the only people left will be the greedy capitalists in their McMansions?