This week’s Dave Barry column is on the trials and tribulations of choosing the right kindergarden. Here’s a taste:
“It turns out that this is not about kindergarten at all. This is about LIFE. And when I say “life,” I of course mean Harvard. You need to get your child into the right kindergarten program, so that she can get into the right elementary school program, without which she cannot get into the right middle school program, without which she can’t get into the right high school program, which means she will not get into Harvard, and all because you flushed her life down the toilet by picking the wrong kindergarten when she was 5 years old, you worthless, uncaring parental scum.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “That’s ridiculous! You can’t wait until your child is 5 years old to start thinking about Harvard! You have to start much sooner!”