I hate security. He who believes he is secure is not. Furthermore, the word has been coopted to mean violations of human dignity. I am suspicious of commercials on right-wing programming that, in the name of security, could jeopardize personal information should databases fall into the wrong hands. Today, a couple newspapers are advertising Reportit. Now you can help enterprising hackers find out if your house is worth breaking into by uploading photos and serial numbers of valuables to an online database.

Along the same line, tonight Asheville’s mayor presented the police chief with a big, fake check representing the $5000 awarded to the city during the US Conference of Mayors. It was a second-place award for collecting prescription medications. Yes, Asheville, where:

The evidence room is locked up tight,
And everything is quiet for the night.
When suddenly the clock strikes twelve,
The fun’s begun.

The cash is out, we’ll all get paid,
There’s going to be a wonderful parade.
The acid drops, without the cops,
Cries everyone.

Hear them all packing
Cocaine is cracking,
There’s the captain stiff as starch.

Papers are rolling,
Hashish is bowling,
As guns, drugs and money march.

Needles are poking,
Angel dust’s stoking,
Thanks to last night’s mega-raid.

Here they come,
Your face is melting,
I feel like an orange,
I forget the rest.

Send lawyers, guns, and money on parade.

Daylight comes sunny, where’s all the money?
From the evidence room boxes stashed;
Weapons now at-large, think of each fired charge,
Dreaming of the night that’s past.

When in the morning, without a warning,
Evidence resumes its lifeless charade.
There’s no sign the contraband brigade
Was ever out upon parade.

Those viewing the presentation were instructed not to flush their meds. No reason was given. Perhaps the MSD doesn’t like working with stoned rats.

Oh, what do I know about smoke and mirrors (pun intended)? The house was cleaned, and people were terminated – or was that only part of a sting operation to cause the big guys to let their guard down.