Despite claims to the contrary, renewable sources of energy not only
are very costly but also aren’t environment-friendly. This
doesn’t matter
to the state’s Utilities Commission. However, I think I may have
an alternative to the evil low-cost and clean-burning coal
option. Don’t get me started on nuclear power.
Hamsters really enjoy
their exercise wheels. I think NC should spend millions and buy
as many hamsters as possible. Each hamster would get his or her
own wheel and this somehow will produce power for us (don’t look to me
for details).
I can’t see any environmental problems and it probably would cost less than renewable sources of energy.
I know there will be criticism, so let me respond:
To
animal rights advocates: The hamsters like the wheels and they will be
given luxurious accommodations. If for any reason a hamster
decides he/she doesn’t want to ride the wheel, they can choose any
career path they desire. Also, let me clarify: I did say NC
should buy hamsters. I meant NC should “hire” hamsters.
On the issue of health benefits: All hamsters would have full
health coverage. Preexisting conditions would not disqualify any
of the hamsters from coverage.
Other benefits include: In-state tuition, 4 weeks vacation, and a skybox to Carolina Hurricanes games.
This seems to be a win-win for hamsters and humans.
