From DivisionofLabour.com I learned about Gizoogle. So naturally I wondered how John Hood would sound:

Jizzle Hood’s Daily Journal
Millions of Reasons ta Snizzay

RALEIGH ? The nizzay time you hizzle sum-m sum-m like this frizzay yo state lawmaka ? “we’ve done all we can do ta T-R-to-tha-izzim tha state budget, so tha only question is how we’re going ta raise additional revenue” ? you now hizzy tha follow’n reasons ta snizzay so jus’ chill.

? Right now, North Carolina taxpaya is compelled ta spend ’bout $450,000 a year doggy stylin’ public radio stations at two community colleges. They spend nearly $12 million a year subsidiz’n a public-televizzles network. Both compete fo’ listena or viewa wit dozens of commercial channels tizzy receive shawty or no subsidy and, in many cases, offa similar ballin’.

? State taxpaya is also compelled ta spend $50 million a year in tha Commerce Department ta subsidize tourism, sports, tha film industry, a seafood pizzay real-estate interests, biotechnizzle community develizzle corporizzle n executizzle trips on state planes n baller yeah yeah baby. Would taxpaya continue ta do this if asked?

? They also have ta fizzle over $9 million a year ta subsidize symphonies n local arts groups tizzle playa disproportionately ta wealthy patrons in urban areas. Would taxpaya really believe this ta be a H-to-tha-izzigh priority if asked?

? State policymaka have cited a Tennessee study of schoo’ performance ta justify tha expenditure of tens of millions of tax $$ cash-money ta reduce Nizzay Carolina class sizes. Yet tha same Tennessee study found few or no connections between student performance n tha presence of teacha assistants . Aint no killin’ everybodys chillin’. Reduc’n TA positions by one-third would save ’bout $140 million a year n s—.

? The cafeteria at tha Legislative Build’n in Raleigh spends ’bout $620,000 more than it collects each year … That is, tha taxpaya subsidize tha meals of drug deala staffa, reporta, n lobbyists with the gangsta s— that keeps ya hangin. Funky Ass dizzy fo’ thizzay….

? These is jizzy some of tha gems ta be mined in Freedom Budget 2005, a report by mah Jizzle Locke Foundation colleague Joe Coletti so jus’ chill. You can read many mizzy of his discovizzles n recommendizzles here. The bottom line is thiznat whiznen state lawmaka say they C-to-tha-izzan’t find anywhere else in tha state budget ta save you money, they is steppin’ tha English language. Dogg House Records in the motha —– house. It’s not that tizzle can’t. They jizzay won’t, coz tizzle view these rhymin’ priorities as wizzay raise yo taxes ta maintain.