I recently watched the atrocious remake of The Stepford Wives. Those of you who’ve seen it know what a farce it is ? they removed all the suspense and mystery from the original (as if they think modern audiences are too stupid to pick up on the reality of the Stepford wives) and completely rewrote the unsettling ending to a more Feministically Correct one. All that was missing was a fade-to-the-credits shot of Glenn Close’s character riding up on a Harley and announcing she was “gonna haul ass to Lollapalooza!”

For those of you who haven’t seen it, DON’T. Just imagine how disappointed you would be if other Ira Levin works were remade in like fashion. You’d see Rosemary awake at the end of Rosemary’s Baby to the giggles and coos of her perfectly normal child ? and the realization that everything preceding was all just a dream inspired by her stifling religious upbringing. No Time for Sergeants becomes a suspense thriller to save the crew from an ignorant Southern redneck drunk on alcohol and kerosene who, “like Bush,” had had strings pulled to make him a pilot.

What prompts this post is this picture (hat tip: Michael C. Byrne) from the upcoming movie remake of the campy ’70s TV sitcom “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Those of you familiar with the show, see if you can tell what’s missing from the famous vehicle. (Those of you familiar with the Hollywood Memory Hole probably can guess.)