(Parts I and II.)

A seasoned satirist could write no better introduction than the one written for this news article in the Duke Chronicle Friday:

For many people, Valentine?s Day is a day filled with love, chocolate, and Hallmark cards. But for others, the “V” in V-day stands for Victory, Valentine and Vagina.

Such people are lunatics, of course, although charity entails granting them some measure of ill-informed good intentions. Also, obeisance to the strict political mores on campus requires stifling all those who would perform the role of the child in this modern-day rendition of “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” No one must question ? or snigger at ? academe’s new Very Important Movement.

So we proceed with straight faces. This article notes a “new twist” to the V-Day movement, which I pass along without comment:

…the debut of the Vagina Lock-In. … One monologue that was performed last year, “The Flood,” will also be a part of this year’s production. The scene portrays an older woman who shamefully discusses her feelings on “down there.” In last year’s show, the woman was the only actress on stage, and her delivery was aimed solely at the audience. This year, however, the rest of The Vagina Monologues cast gathers around the grandmother-figure as she tells her story, responding in much the same way as children would to a riveting tale. … When Parkes was asked how long he thought the show would continue, he quickly responded, “until it is necessary to stop. We need The Vagina Monologues until conversations that are being re-enacted and performed for us begin occurring on an everyday basis between real people.”