Apparently, Congressional Democrats want a solid plan from the Big Three automakers before they throw billions of dollars their way.
Last year, the Onion offered this hilarious take on the Ford Motor Company. Here is a selection from the article, entitled “Ford Reintroduces Model T Line That Made It Great.”
“Today’s drivers want to get in touch with the experience of sitting behind the wheel of a finely crafted, planetary-gear vehicle with manual crank shafts,” said Ford’s president and CEO Alan Mulally, who expects the first line of Model Ts to be available for sale by mid-December and safe for driving as soon as it is neither snowing nor raining. “We’re getting back to the basics, bringing the quality and elegance of 1908 into the 21st century. We want to show the country why, at one point, every single car driven in America was a Ford.”
Although market analysts have for months predicted that the struggling company would sell off its less successful subsidiaries and expand into hybrid cars in order to remain economically viable, the Michigan-based auto producer decided instead to open 12 new factories and retrofit another seven at a cost of more than $100 million in order to produce parts such as the oil-lamp headlights and wooden artillery wheels for the two-speed Model T.
…”Frankly, I think we’ve gotten so concerned with adding frills like GPS navigational systems, seat belts, and exhaust pipes that we’ve forgotten what really matters: open-air bench seating,” Mulally said. “We promise that each Model T that comes off the line will last much, much longer than today’s cars. Face it, we just don’t make them like we used to.”
