More irritating hypocrisy from the “eco-friendly” do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do celebrity crowd. I’ll trade in my SUV for a bike on the day these celebrities sell their private jets and start pedaling to New York from Malibu. In other words, it ain’t gonna happen. And by the way, isn’t it interesting that the eco-gurus aren’t a bit concerned about the Copenhagan summit’s impact on the planet?

The Copenhagen summit next week will generate vast quantities of hot air. It will see 16,500 people coming in from 192 countries. That amounts to 41,000 tons of carbon dioxide, roughly the same as the carbon emissions of Morocco in 2006. Also, the organisers will lay 900 kilometres of computer cable and 50,000 square miles of carpet. More than 200,000 meals will be served and visitors will drink 200,000 cups of coffee — at least that will be organic.

When asked if the carbon footprint might have been reduced by turning Copenhagen into a video conference, a spokesman for the event said: “For such a major agreement, people need to meet together and negotiate face to face. We have delegates from all over the world. Video-conferencing systems are extremely useful, but they don’t match the personal touch. This is one of the main factors in having a good conference.”

In other words, they’re extra special and the planet will understand the need for “the personal touch.”