Help! I can’t get the image of that fat lady I saw last night out of my mind! And that fat lady across the street is smothering me with all the folds in her skin! Help!

Oh, here’s some help.

Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper said Tuesday that they’ll work to reduce the calories Americans get frm beverages by 20 percent over the next decade by more aggressively marketing smaller sizes, bottled water, and diet drinks.

Maybe if we, as a community, start drinking diet beverages in shot glasses, we can all stop sinning and look like Jennifer Anniston. However, I would appreciate some training from the First Lady. I don’t know if I can do this alone.