I had a message on my answering machine today that said, “With the new economic stimulus package going into effect, the government has approved a new affordable life insurance program for you and your family. You’ve been pre-approved for up to $25,000 in final-expense life insurance.”

What am I to read into this?

a. The government realizes it is about to give me a heart attack.
b. Conservatives and their family members might be bumped off if they continue to belittle concepts like making the dollar the new lira, making future tax hikes imminent, and making everything anybody does and breathes dependent on government subsidy with attached strings to be announced.
c. The government can’t be a sugar daddy to everybody, so select individuals are being asked to support the artificial economy by dying.
d. “Stimulus” is supposed to trigger a knee-jerk reaction that makes me get excited, embrace whatever is placed before me, and register.