***Content warning*** The following post discusses how the higher minds in the state deem to celebrate a holiday. As such, the content is regrettably, but necessarily, very vulgar.


As part of the 2008 D-Day College Campaign, the following N.C. universities are hosting performances of Adam Amsler’s The Penis Monologues (TPM):

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, UNC-Charlotte, Guilford College, Warren Wilson College, NC School of the Arts, Central Piedmont Community College, Winston-Salem State University, Western Carolina University, NC State, Appalachian State, UNC-Wilmington, Salem College, East Carolina University, UNC-Greensboro, Wake Forest University, Western Carolina University, Queens University, Duke University, Peace College, Bennett College, and Meredith College.

A campuswide e-mail alerted prospective student actors to the play under the subject line, “Greetings, Penis Lovers.”

In the play, students dress up as phalluses and talk about their experiences being pricks. Prior to the performances, the crowd is led to chant “Penis! Penis!” over and over again, and told that this is actually revolutionary. Student columnists then write very earnest op-eds praising TPM for such revolutionary acts.

Meanwhile, proceeds from the performance and from ancillary sales of “Penis Pops,” “Scrotum Cookies,” “Blue Balls Bash” bags, “Dick Heads” T-shirts, and other merchandise, will go to benefit Amsler’s D-Day business and will be said to promote men’s interests worldwide.