The president said we need stronger gun controls. This is because all mass murderers meticulously search the legal record, probably with multiple hired attorneys, to make sure their massacres are executed in accordance with all local, state, federal, and international law and, in light of thorough case study analysis, likely to set no insensitive precedents. (I speak as a fool for the clueless.)

Hello, government. Legalese multiplied does not drive gunmen to peaceful coexistence. Its proliferation of nitnoids makes all of us offenders, ties those who value obedience into pretzels, and drives good people like Mark Meadows, who is trying to make the world a better place, out of office.