The General Assembly wants to station the North Carolina Highway Patrol’s helicopter out of the mountains. Buncombe County Emergency Services Director Jerry VeHaun thinks that is not so swift a move. The helicopter is used for emergencies, when response time is critical. Examples VeHaun listed include following fugitives from justice, finding lost people, and sniffing out places where the peeps are growing mother nature (abbreviated MJ). Asheville is in the middle of the state’s most treacherous terrain, and the new location will be far to the east, in Newton. Not only is it easier to get from Point A to Point B as the crow flies in a helicopter than speeding along winding, hilly, ice-covered, narrow roads in disrepair; pot growers are smart enough to know they can save transportation costs by growing close to their main market. “Down in the flatlands,” as Representative Nathan Ramsey can say because his district doesn’t go there, people are more likely to be wholesome, and troopers can plow through fields anytime they have to. Note: The stereotyping is feigned retribution for our reputation for being hippie mountain creeps.