Monty Python “Being Eaten by a Crocodile” skit: “Yes, well, I mean, (clears throat) you know, four years ago, everyone knew the Italians were coating the insides of their legs with bolinaise, the Russians have been marinating themselves, one of the Germans, Biolek, was caught actually putting, uh, remolarde down his shorts. And the Finns were using tomato flavored running shoes. Uh, I think there should either be unrestricted garnishing, or a single, Olympic standard mayonnaise.” (link)

Monty Python “Lifeboat” skit: “As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden? Arabs? Yours etc., Captain B.J. Smethwick, in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.” (link)

Life: “A couple [found] a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce. … The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.” (link)