As I look forward to air travel tomorrow and potential physical assault from the TSA, I have just one simple request for TSA employees: I like to take things slow and before you grope me or see me all my naughty bits (and laugh), could you at least buy me a drink first?

Romance me.  A little charming conversation before we move on to you grabbing me in unspeakable ways would go a long way to making me feel better and would improve our relationship.  Just so you know what I want in my TSA employee: I like a confident TSA employee who has a lovely sense of humor, knows how to have fun, but also can be serious when called upon.

Now, I recognize that TSA employees are expertly trained (and I’m sure doctors) and would never take pleasure viewing in graphic detail the scans of passengers or groping someone, but I just have to wonder if maybe there could be a better way of going about this security thing.

I don’t know, how about using intelligent targeting of passengers based on profile, kind of like Israel does and who knows security 100 times better than us?  Yes, it may be politically incorrect, but since when is assaulting people, including children, who obviously pose no risk, more politically correct than asking detailed questions of passengers who fit specific profiles.  Actually, the unfortunate answer is it is more politically correct to assault everyone, and that’s a sad state of affairs.

The TSA pro-groping/anti-profiling policy also doesn’t help much with security.  We will politically incorrect ourselves into another terrorist attack, as I have long argued.

Were existing procedures not working?  Were there gaping holes in security when TSA wasn’t fondling passengers?  Aren’t there alternatives to what TSA is doing?  Will the Obama Administration finally admit it doesn’t respect the Fourth Amendment, yet at the same time feels that foreign terrorists should get a trial?

There’s something wrong when known foreign terrorists are being provided inappropriate legal protections and American citizens are being subjected to inappropriate searches and seizures.  It seems like things may be a tad bit mixed up.  That could just be me though.

If I do get groped or scanned tomorrow (without first being romanced), I would hope that the TSA employee would at least remember me in the morning.