by Mitch Kokai
Senior Political Analyst, John Locke Foundation
Using advanced algorithmic technology purchased on the dark web, the Washington Free Beacon has created a bot capable of performing journalism at a professional level. This week, we forced the bot to review media reports on Amy Coney Barrett, the frontrunner to be President Donald Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, and asked it to write its own report based on that analysis. Here is the result.
CONTROVERSY: Supreme Court Frontrunner Has Ties to “God” Cult
President Donald J. Trump, opponent of women, has strongly hinted that his next Supreme Court nominee will be a woman. Judge Amy Coney Barrett is the likely choice, but not a historic one because of her white race. She is, notably, an ultraconservative.
Trump is making the controversial nomination to replace beloved preeminent female Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, whose death rocked the nation to its core. Democrats have argued in favor of democracy while Republicans seized on Ginsburg’s death to commit hypocrisy. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) vowed to proceed with the nomination despite his role in the 2016 murder of Merrick Garland.
Abortion is the primary issue. Judge Barrett believes in extreme opposition, citing so-called “sacred” texts to justify the persecution of women. Problematically, the potential nominee belongs to what experts describe as an arcane cult whose rituals have been debunked by science. Members have been known to convene at least once a week to worship a bearded zealot turned zombie whose mother was impregnated by a ghost.
Barrett’s unproven belief in “god” is one of many controversies that could surface during a confirmation hearing. Democrats are likely to express concern about her support for female enslavement.