This Time magazine story explores what the piece says is a growing trend of more drinking –and drinking and driving – among American women. Yes, it’s awful. But what galls me is that there are still people hanging on to the tired, old notion that women somehow face more life pressures than men, and that it’s the pressure that explains the behavior. From the story:
Unlike men, women tend to drink at home and alone, which allows them to conceal a problem more easily.
Because of this, they seek treatment less often than men, and when they do, it is at a later stage, often when something catastrophic has already happened, said Dr. Petros Levounis, director of the Addiction Institute of New York at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center.
“Our society has taught us that women have an extra burden to be the perfect mothers and perfect wives and perfect daughters and perfect everything,” Levounis said. “They tend to go to great lengths to keep everything intact from an external viewpoint while internally, they are in ruins.”
In the current recession, women’s incomes have become more important because so many men have lost their jobs, experts say. Men are helping out more at home, but working mothers still have the bulk of the child rearing responsibilities.
“Because of that, they have a bigger burden then most men do,” said clinical psychologist Carol Goldman. “We have to look at the pressures on women these days. They have to be the supermom.”
Hogwash. Everyone faces pressures in life.
Ask a man about his pressures to provide a nurturing, stable home for his family. Ask a man about the pressures of holding down a job he may not like, but which provides a steady income for his family. Ask a man about his pressures to be promoted to management even though he may like being a rank-and-file contributor more than being a manager. Ask a man about the pressures to learn new technology and keep improving his skills so he’s not replaced by younger, more tech-savvy workers. Ask a man about the pressures to walk the tightrope of not inadvertently offending a hyper-sensitive female co-worker. Ask a man about the pressure to meet expectations at work and still have enough quality time with his kids.
If we keep perpetuating the myth of women as victims of society, women will never face up to the fact that pressure simply comes with life. This won’t change unless women who demand to be treated just like men are accepting of, and realistic about, the responsiblities that come with it.
