Deroy Murdock uses a column to skewer special counsel Robert Mueller’s ongoing probe.

Imagine that a 40-year-old agrees to a colonoscopy. His doctor detects no evidence of disease, and it’s a decade early for a preventive procedure. But the physician insists on checking anyway. He knocks the patient out and finds…nothing. But, since he’s strapped to a gurney and paralyzed by Propofol, the doctor keeps looking. He opens the patient’s abdomen, inspects the internal organs, and finds no hint of cancer. But he removes the appendix because…why not? Then he peers down the man’s throat. Still no cancer. But — great idea! — he snatches the tonsils. Next, the doctor orders an endodontist to perform 12 root canals. The man’s molars are perfectly fine, so all that drilling proves pointless.

“Penile catheter!” the doctor tells the nurse, as she hands him a long, thin, clear tube. “Let’s see what we can find.”

President Donald J. Trump has every reason to feel as violated as this fictional victim of medical abuse. …

… The special-counsel statute requires that investigations begin with enough evidence of specific lawbreaking to establish reasonable suspicion of criminality. Only then may a special counsel proceed and determine if federal statutes were violated.
CARTOONS | Gary Varvel
View Cartoon

Like a driver speeding in reverse, Mueller got this totally backward and still has his pedal to the metal.