As my friend Randy would say, I weep.
According to ABC 11 News, Raleigh’s theme song “was written and performed by the staff at the Raleigh Convention Center who believed it was time the Capital City had its own theme song.”
Collectively, apparently, they conceived the following (lyrics courtesy of the N&O):
Shine Raleigh shine
We’re a city on the rise
No compromise
We’ll be taken as we grow
Got an old town feel
Technical appeal
And everybody’s mind will glow
We’ll be taken as we grow? Everybody’s mind will … glow?
Education rocks
Innovation rolls
Imaginations going wild
Obviously not.
We fascinate
We invigorate
Till we see everybody smile
The lesson is: never smile.
Chorus:
Shine Raleigh shine
You crazy diamond.
Rise up and shine
When you put it all together
What?
When we all come together
You will shine
Shine here
To paraphrase Frank Sinatra, If you can make it here, you’re gonna … make it here.
When evening comes
Twinkle little star
Oh, criminy.
Up above the city high
It feels like a dream
This Raleigh scene
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder what you are … doing? Cribbing lyrics from children’s doggerel? What next? Putting a Raleigh spin on the ABC’s song? “R-A-L-E-I-G-H / What a shine we all will make.”
Time to drift away
Like a sudden breeze
On the sweetest lullaby
When you wake up in the morn’
To the Carolina sun
Your day is looking bright
Get it? You passed out drunk.
It’s a brand new day
Sir Walter’s way
Stimulation in your bones
What? (“Sir Walter’s way” involved mucho tobacco, by the way.)
As you walk the walk
Through that Raleigh town
You feel it in your soul
Feel what?
Welcome to our home
Not too big or small
Fair enough.
Hospitality’s an art
Non sequitur.
Y’all come back you hear
Now we’re cribbing from “The Beverly Hillbillies”? What was that rot about imaginations running wild?
‘Cause we hold you dear
In our city
And in our hearts
To quote the Mystery Science Theater 3000 ‘bots, my lunch goes bleeeauuuuugh!
