Papadoc was prophetic. I received a note from the mayor of Asheville announcing the delivery of a city survey. I received a survey, and then today I received a duplicate survey in case I hadn’t filled mine out, yet. I also received notification from the federal government that I should be receiving my stimulus check if not by June 27, then within six weeks thereafter.

I’ve been struggling with what to do with my survey. Over 50% of the questions have nothing to do with government. Others are devoid of meaning. For example, I would rate the street lighting as poor because the conspicuously consumptive bases in Asheville green look like cuspidors from the sheik’s tent. For all I know, the interpreters of the “scientific” survey would construe my answer to mean I want more.

I’ve considered sending a letter in Spanish to the mayor explaining why I abstained from the survey. I could say I needed to conduct a study of best practices in survey answering in a number of similar cities and hold a public forum (lunch provided) to help me find answers.

I should probably play the game because the questions that ask us to rate our support of bond referenda for various initiatives have a “don’t know” spot on the far side of “strongly oppose.” I would like to see the results of a survey with “don’t know” on the far side of “strongly agree,” but that would be “unscientific.”