This CAFTA uproar got me thinking about something. Why should my family tolerate something in our neighborhood that is taking our jobs? Something that is also taking our money and not giving us any in return? But for as long as I can remember, we’ve not only tolerated it, we’ve welcomed it. My wife even keeps a file for special condescensions from it.
But my goodness, this trade deficit with our local Food Lion grocery store is an affront to America. You see what we have done to ourselves in this unbalanced trade owing to our Food Lion Free Trade Acts? We’ve exported our jobs raising meat for slaughter, farming, cultivating pharmaceuticals, preparing and boxing pasta, carbonating potables, etc., etc., etc. But the stink of it is, whenever we exchange with Food Lion, with or without its “coupon” condescensions, the grocer gets all the cash! All we’re left with is something we’re going to consume ? it’ll be gone in a matter of days, and then we’re left with nothing!
Well, enough is enough. I’m going to put a fence around our land and put my family to work in all those formerly exported jobs. Maybe we’ll even sell our surplus ? that way we’ll be the one on the good end of a trade imbalance!
You’ll forgive me, of course, if I say vaguely unsettling, hateful remarks about grocers, too. It’s all a part of my zeal to save my family’s jobs. And think of how many we’ll save!
Oh, some might say we’ll be worse off, we won’t be able to give ourselves as much as we once had, that we’ll have to spend more time trying to provide for ourselves things we could have had in a matter of minutes and for a couple of bucks, that those things will cost us considerably more in time and money and that we’ll get considerably less quality in many cases, and so forth, but that’s just empty talk. As for us, we’ll be proud to have saved all those jobs ? not to mention given ourselves a positive trade imbalance for once!
