Yes, that could be the title for a very funny movie.

Instead, P.J. O’Rourke writes about his Afghanistan journey in a cover story for The Weekly Standard:

If you spend 72 hours in a place you?ve never been, talking to people
whose language you don?t speak about social, political, and economic
complexities you don?t understand, and you come back as the world?s
biggest know-it-all, you?re a reporter. Either that or you?re President
Obama. I called my wife. She said, no, she certainly is not vacationing
at government expense in some jet-set hot spot with scads of her BFFs.
Looks like I?m not President Obama. But I am a reporter, fresh from
Kabul. What do you want to know about Afghanistan, past, present, or
future? Ask me anything.

As all good reporters do, I prepared for my assignment with extensive
research. I went to an Afghan restaurant in Prague. Getting a
foretaste?as it were?of my subject, I asked the restaurant?s owner (an
actual Afghan), ?So what?s up with Afghanistan??

He said, ?Americans must understand that Afghanistan is a country of
honor. The honor of an Afghan is in his gun, his land, and his women.
You take a man?s honor if you take his gun, his land or his women.?

And the same goes for where I live in New Hampshire. I inquired
whether exceptions could be made, on the third point of honor, for
ex-wives.

?Oh yes,? he said.

Afghanistan?so foreign and yet so familiar and, like home, with such
wonderful lamb chops. I asked the restaurateur about other similarities
between New Hampshire and Afghanistan. ?I don?t know,? he said. ?Most of
my family lives in L.A.?

I wonder whether the memory of this recent trip will endure as long as O’Rourke’s experience with livestock.