The Polk County Republican Party had a booth at a festival in Columbus to commemorate the Fourth of July. Narry as I can figger, it is a special day because it falls somewhere between the third and the fifth. Anyway, terror was wrecked on the town because the partisans manned a dunk tank that encouraged children, or adults in plain view of children, to lob balls at pictures of the president and the presidential frontrunner. The hate crime plagued passersby with “horror,” eliciting cries of, “This is not America.” What’s more, one of the partisans wore a T-shirt with a bad word modifying liberals on it. (See 1, 2, and 3.)

Some takeaways are:

  • You may speak freely with royal approval.
  • If you are not in awe of the cult of the presidency, you should at least revere the protected class to which Its Highness belongs.
  • The right to be unoffended and unhorrified by children’s games trumps any of those enumerated in the Constitution.
  • If you’re going to operate a political dunk tank, do as they do in Asheville and put real office holders on the hot seat. Witches will float.