Ashevillians may want to stay inside until after the elections.

Something besides celery stalks at midnight here. Something . . . dangerous . . . and ferocious. Beasts so venomous, so sinister, government is stepping in to proactively preserve the life, liberty, and property of citizens being threatened by the monsters. At least, I thought that’s what government is supposed to be doing.

The monsters are neither panthers no bears. In fact, they’ve been positively identified as parking garages. City council was supposed to hold a public hearing before enacting ordinances to get the leviathans under control. We all know how negatively wafting externalities like visual quality, stormwater mitigation, and downright community feel can impact our vibrancy and sense of place.

Er, except that reining in the garages is going to alienate the business community, and letting them run amok will synergize negative energy patterns onto the trust babies. City staff therefore recommends that citizens grit their teeth and hold on a little stronger until after the elections. Staff also recommended postponing the other two public hearings scheduled for Tuesday. It is better to let the people suffer the violations and horrors of unmicromanaged parking garages, for just a few more months, than to risk having incumbents publicly state their positions before they are safely re-elected.