I don’t care how many “public health” arguments you give for this, putting hand sanitizer next to the elevators in City of Raleigh office buildings is just a further sign of the wussification of America. How many epidemics got their start over the past decades by people pushing buttons with unsanitized digits? None, I’ll wager.

In fact, there are those who argue that by killing every single virus that might jump on our epidermis we’re hampering our immune systems from developing antibodies, resulting in things making us sick that used to bounce off of us.