I’ll start, and this is from my favorite Christmas carol, “O Holy Night.” In its defense, I think it features some of the most beautiful lines ever written:
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope; the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
and
Truly he taught us to love one another,
His law is love, and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Those wonderfully limned words are following by this blaring clunker:
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Ack! What’s with the “raise we” bit? It makes no sense. There’s no rhyme scheme to which it must conform that would force such an awkward phrase structure. It smacks of a writer trying too hard to write poetically. The line would flow much smoother as simply, Sweet hymns of joy we raise in grateful chorus.
Alas.
