It’s given a really misleading headline by Fox: “Men Growl, Whine Like Dogs to Determine Dominance.” That’s not quite what the study says:

A male dog will whine and beg in deference to a stronger dog, but will lower its voice into a guttural growl if it thinks it has a fighting chance.

Men unconsciously do a similar thing, scientists say.

A new study finds that the lower the pitch of a man’s voice, the more physically dominant other men think he is. And men lower their voice pitch when addressing a man they believe to be less dominant than themselves, but raise it when speaking to someone they think is more dominant.

Here’s some words of advice to you men seeking the “Dominant Voice”: get yourself a sinus infection. I can testify that it has dropped my voice a full octave. So buck up and snuff up, pansy man.

Besides, even with the side effects of a sinus infection (hacking, coughing, snorting, hocking, spitting, and wanting to drive a railroad spike in one’s head), you will no doubt agree with me that it’s still far more preferable to a Voice of the Neuter.