David Brooks, like most conservatives who suddenly find their paychecks coming from the NYT’s Sulzberger family, has watered down his right-wing views over the past few years. He’s become, in that time, as tiresome as David Gergen, another once-conservative who likes being liked by liberals.
But Brooks’ column today is good stuff. For a while there I thought I was reading Dave Barry. Here’s a sample of his imagined Obama speech:
For this election isn’t about the past or the present, or even the pluperfect conditional. It’s about the future, and Barack Obama loves the future because that’s where all his accomplishments are.
We meet today to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans, a generation that came of age amidst iced chais and mocha strawberry Frappuccinos®, a generation with a historical memory that doesn’t extend back past Coke Zero.
We meet today to heal the divisions that have torn this country. For we are all one country and one American family, whether we are caring and thoughtful Democrats or hate-filled and war-crazed Republicans. We must bring together left and right, marinara and carbonara, John and Elizabeth Edwards. On United we stand, on US Airways, there’s a 25-minute delay.
How long before he’s summoned to Pinch Sulzberger’s office for re-education?
