I sure hope this list is incomplete — this Uptown paper of record story makes no mention of impact fees/land transfer taxes — as there is nothing particularly creative here, plus there are a few real bizarre ideas.
Let’s roll with this account anyway:
Topping the county board’s priorities is a request to help the county cover its liability for medical insurance for retirees. The county wants permission to invest money into equities and to sell bonds to pay for the liability.
Uh, that sounds pretty damn scary. What if the investments decline in value? Sounds like benefits are out of control. Not a good start. Next county wish —
Authority to sell or lease real estate through private sale for economic development or to be consistent with land-use plans
Here’s an idea: Just sell the frickin’ land. Local government does not need to be in the real estate or econ development biz. Strike two.
More state-funded court positions in Mecklenburg’s 26th judicial district
A clean single up the middle. Want a homer? Start seizing state property and auctioning it off to pay for more prosecutors. Dare Gov. Mike Whatshisname to do something about it. In a banana republic like NC only the bold survive.
A new detention center for juveniles, though funding wouldn’t be requested until a later legislative session
Probably needed; should also help free space in some CMS schools.
The authority to regulate smoking in public places
Oh, yeah. Burning issue. Dopes. Strike three for those playing at home.
Now for the city of Charlotte’s must-haves from the Down East kleptocracy in Raleigh:
New laws targeting operators and clients of automotive “chop shops.”
Must be so CMPD does not have to actually track down stolen cars, just look for parts. Love to hear how this would impact legitimate salvage yards. Bet they would too.
Tougher penalties for robbers who use fake but realistic weapons in holding people up
Uh, at last check the problem was bad guys using real guns to do real crime but still not going to jail. So maybe a fake crime for a fake weapon is perfect for a fake justice system. We’re already way off track.
A measure allowing police to regulate the tint in car windows
What? Seriously, what? Car window tint is already regulated by NC state law. A car will fail annual inspection if tint is too dark — and there are very detailed specs are what “too dark” means. What kind of crap is this? Is this just a proxy to make more traffic stops? I generally abhor conspiracy jags, but there has got to be something else behind this wacky idea. And if we are going go down this path, here’s one a billion times more meaningful: Allow “police to regulate” tailpipe emissions. Blue smoke; blue lights and 30-days to get it fixed. Jeebus!
More:
Direction on how to win more people and money for the local criminal justice system
Already solved that: Grow some stones and seize stuff. Next.
Laws targeting the confidentiality of minors in gangs
No clue. Wait — window tint? Next.
A law that would allow business owners to testify on behalf of out-of-town crime victims when the crime occurred at the business — at a hotel, for example
Bzzzt. Already shot that canard down.
More funding for major roads in and around Charlotte, especially Interstate 485 and U.S. 74
And NC 16 and NC 27 and I-77 and I-85…. I advise taking hostages. Call yourself the Mecklenburg Liberation Front, ask Hugo Chavez for help. This item might actually matter were the wish list not so cluttered with foolish junk.
Money directed to cleaning and maintaining vegetation near state-controlled roads in the city
Having a Triffid problem are we? Doesn’t this wish just mean, More state road money mk. II?
A law that would allow Charlotte-Mecklenburg police officers serving on regional or statewide task forces to have arrest authority without having to be sworn as a federal agent
I’m sure that matters somehow to something, but I cannot imagine why I’d care to find out after that sorry list.
Good luck with that Caravan to Raleigh, Pat. Sounds like the circus is leaving town and all the clowns will be aboard.
