I chose that title because it has multiple meanings, and I hope those who only see one meaning will make an effort figure out at least a second one. Then, for homework, you can ask yourself what message I was attempting to impart. (Hint: I’m being sarcastic.)

The Buncombe County Commissioners had a second public conversation on whether or not the county’s rules and regulations should include sexual orientation and gender identity as protected classes. The Republicans argued that language added to a pending bill, on fracking, might render the county’s policy irrelevant subject to general statutes. They expressed fear that the county could suffer monetary repercussion in the form of withdrawn state and federal aid. Yeah, right.

Members of the public cited other laws. Larry Smith said the Constitution was the supreme law of the land, and it already guaranteed equal status to all. Aaron Sarver cited state-level bills in the hopper that would require the city to acknowledge the two new special classes and named other states that had already passed legislation with no interruptions in federal aid.

Failing to postpone consideration of the matter until June, the Republicans’ fallback position was that there should be no itemization of protected classes, but all county employees should refrain from harassing or discriminating against any other employee on any basis or else. As Depeche Mode sang, “People are people so why should it be / You and I should get along so awfully?”

Local clergymen spoke against adding the two protected classes. Andrew Sluder said he was called to proclaim the Word, and he feared the protective language would be construed to infringe his right to exercise free speech. The ministers explained they were acting out of love for their Lord and their fellowmen in wanting to share the miracle of forgiveness and invite all to enjoy the glorious blessings of eternal life. Commissioner Ellen Frost responded to their readings of Bible verses, saying she was hearing a lot of hate speech. (With haters like that, who needs friends?) Chair David Gantt said the emails he had received were sufficient cause to lead him to believe the two groups needed special protection.

In the end, the Republicans and Democrats voted with solidarity along party lines. Since there were four of seven Democrats, you know the rest of the story. I apologize if I offended anybody by using the R and D words. I find the words kind of offensive, myself.