10. Well, it’s because ? sorry, I have to do the traffic and weather right now!
9. Tired of being called “Hagar”
8. No shoes, no shirt, no Jerry
7. Last hope of ever seeing professional curling in Raleigh faded
6. They got some crazy big women there, too
5. Four named storms in one month? Enough is enough, and I don’t care if tornadoes are little hurricanes!
4. Has already hung up on everyone in the Triangle ? needed a new challenge
3. Been here for five years and it’s still John Hood this and John Hood that
2. Fleeing cataclysmic revelation from his showdown with Mike Easley, who told him “Jeeeerrrry, I am your faaaaatherrrrr.” (Does not yet know Elizabeth Dole is his twin sister.)
And the No. 1 real reason Jerry Agar is going to Kansas City is:
1. “Don’t You Be My Neighbor” segment led to a rare Yankee/Reb coalition to forced out the Canuck