Tomorrow will be your last day to chain yourself to one of the beautiful palms at Biltmore Square Mall. The mall shall close, and I hate to think of what will happen to my gorgeous green brothers. If there is a lack of high-ceiling solariums in the area, which I suspect, perhaps we can get a nonprofit to conserve a nice acre or so in an appropriate climate and appoint me keeper of the transplants.
I’m trying to get the hang of this government stuff.