How long before we argue for funding to help ugly children deal with their “high risk” status, and the emotional scars that will likley follow?

Why high risk? Researchers observed that Canadian parents let homely 2-5 year-old children wander off far more often while shopping, or didn’t bother to secure them with shopping cart seat belts, than they did with attractive children.

The problem with an ‘ugly duckling program,’ of course, is that the neglectful parents themselves would have to make the claim on behalf of their ducklings’ disfavored treatment. Or will we need shopping mall monitors to uncover ugly participants? It looks like a fine potential government program either way.