The news on the radio this morning repeated what the local daily had to offer: Etowah Elementary went into lockdown because of a suspicious man. We should probably fault the police for (1) being gender-specific, and (2) assuming the entity in men’s attire identified with the male gender.

You can take that and 52 cents to the casino, where they also sell gas, and buy a sweet lard sandwich on an oatmeal cookie bun, as I did this morning.