Asheville City Council will receive a report on the Asheville Initiative for Mathematics this Tuesday. The thirty-one-page report doesn’t say exactly what will be done in terms of instructional methods or mathematical algorithms. The initiative will create a “community advisory group made up of educators and business leaders in setting priorities and identifying opportunities.” Among other things, it will hold summits, “annual one-day workshops on the connections between math education and workforce development, civil rights, social justice and public health;” and “start a series of learning circles on math and civil rights.” The initiative will also undertake its own certification program for local math tutors.

The program boasts vertical integration, and it will aim to facilitate collaboration between mathematical communities as it, “heightens awareness of the importance of the mathematical sciences.” It will also attempt to recruit diverse students into the mathematical fields as it “engages all members of the mathematical community.”

The program will offer scholarships and reimbursements for those who travel to perpetrate it. Fellowships will be available to students with mathematical aptitude, as demonstrated by a 2.0 GPA or higher. It will also require a $50,000 coordinator, and it would be nice if the City of Asheville (taxpayers) could pay for it.

You want details? You mean you want to know what you’re buying? Well, the report tells us the summit will cover:

• Mathematics in the workplace: a call for change
• Mathematics and social justice: math as a liberating art
• Math education in elementary schools: means and methods
• Math education in the middle grades: means and methods
• Math education in high schools: means and methods
• Math education in economically disadvantaged communities.

Oh.

Now, pretend for a second you are a math person. You spent four years of your life learning critical thinking. You wouldn’t have gotten your degree if you couldn’t sniff out contradiction or basic logical fallacies. You lived your life by the laws of conservation. All statements had to be “necessary and sufficient.” Any symbol that was less than precise would have your Czech prof screaming. You have a strong, analytical right brain and you want to use your talents. How much would you want to be paid for putting up with THIS?