Rush Limbaugh just proposed starting a theme song for introducing John Edwards news on his program. His idea was Helen Reddy’s quaint little feminist classic, “I Am Woman (Hear Me Roar).” It could work, with a little rewrite:

I am metro, hear me roar
In houses too big to ignore
And I know so much about how to pretend
’cause I’ve said it all before
’bout how I care about the poor
And I count union thug supporters as my friends

Oh yes, I am cute
Perfect hair and teeth unstained
I’m an empty suit
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can say anything

I’ve got big homes (homes)
My own court for basketball (basketball)
I am metro …

I’d suggest rewriting another tune, though:

Fluff the Magic Trial Lawyer
Ran for V.P.
Then frolicked in the leftist midst
Of a zoo called UNC.

Every liberal paper
Loved that silly Fluff
And swooned and sighed whene’er he spoke
And wrote him fancy stuff!

Oh,
Fluff the Magic Trial Lawyer
Ran for V.P.
Then frolicked in the leftist midst
Of a zoo called UNC.

A fad can’t last forever
And that’s bad news for Fluff
The media would swoon anew
For other fluffy stuff.

One gray night it happened
The papers found Barack
The fresh, new face who’s “not Clinton”
And by the way is black!

Now
Fluff, the Magic Trial Lawyer’s
Back in NC
He’s got a mansion in Chapel Hill
And one by the sea!