Bill Maher resorts to a few well-worn stereotypes to persuade southern Democrats to vote for Kerry. (Pay article ? apparently, some people actually paid for this.) This is the kind of argument that tempts me to want to like Edwards just for the principle of it all, although the temptation is held in the balance by the Senator Emeritus’ doofus class-warrior, two-Americas shtick.
Allow me ? for the sake of the South, of course, and not, NOT for the sake of poking fun at the inestimable Mr. Maher ? the indulgence of responding as he imagines it’ll sound:
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Whachew reckon’s the problem ‘ere, Bill? Y’all lahked th’laayust slick-talkin’, glad-handin’, bleedin’-heart lawyer we sent’cha. Now that summa ’em Yankee [spits] states dun picked ’em a can-di-dayet, y’all speck us t’ foller suit? Weeeeeyull ‘at dog jes’ ain’t gwan hunt, bwa.
Besides, it ain’t no four e’s ? it’s two e’s and a “yu,” ya ign’ant wretch. “Shee-yut,” as in “Yer column ain’t worfa …”
‘Scuse me fergettin’ mah manners when there maht be a lady present. Ah bes’ be headin’ home now, to my gal Ringa Belle, my dawg Belvedeeyuh, and a coupl’em sweeeeet minty juleps …
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