As useless as a Coach K commercial in Chapel Hill…
As useless as barbeque sauce at Clyde Cooper’s…
As useless as the Vulcan mind meld on George Leef…
As useless as a “W” button on campus…
As useless as a News & Observer editorial…
As useless as logic on Howard Lee…
As useless as a black powder rifle during lawyer season (they’re too darn quick)…
As useless as Jon Sanders in a pickup basketball game…