Mark Redbond owns a general store and deli at his gas station. His business did well on its health inspections for years until one revealed his picnic tables, that had been there even during the initial permitting, were evil. Redbond would either have to get rid of them or shut his business down. As Redbond fought to give the tables a chance to repent before being cast into outer darkness, the health department tested Redbond’s water positive for fecal coliform. Now, they had their reason to shut him down. Unfortunately, unlike the enforcers, Redbond read the law and found out he couldn’t be shut down until a second positive test was completed. The second test, performed by an independent, albeit licensed, lab, produced negative results. To make amends, Graham County is proposing Redbond get rid of only two of his four picnic tables.