The Fourth of July approaches. It is a holiday to celebrate by getting drunk on all the beer government has brought to the region, and then getting in the car to be pulled over as swarms of cops play “Booze It & Lose It.” If you don’t want to spend so much money humoring government, maybe you could rob a bank while all the cops are cruising to (1) make sure all the claustrophobic drivers are secured with their government straps, (2) add to the debts owed by drivers too poor to keep their registrations to date, and (3) helping drunks get home safely to beat their wives.